Tuesday, May 18, 2010

This should cut down on taxes...

 Miami-Dade cop accused of robbing gambler

A Miami-Dade police officer was arrested early Tuesday, accused of pulling a man over and stealing more than $120,000 from him, police said.

















I'm glad cops are finally getting the real criminals. Especially by my house. I'm tired of doing it, myself.

Monday, May 17, 2010

It's always good to see press releases in the newspaper

Comcast rebrands services as `Xfinity'

"Comcast has rebranded its television, phone and Internet services as Xfinity for South Florida customers. The company is still named Comcast, but all services will now be referred to as Xfinity."
It's too bad that they won't just change their name to Xfinity. Then, we'd really be living in an idiocrcacy. I'd eat double downs and watch it all day.

I miss all the important news...



Where was I?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Herald does not let one internal memo pass

Fragrances banned at BSO internal affairs


The Herald has informed us that you can’t wear fragrances if you work at the Broward Sheriff’s Office. This is incredibly important, because I’m not going to apply at a place, no matter how many unnecessary extras you put on my health plan, if I can’t smell like wormwood.

banned-fragrance


Saturday, May 15, 2010

We Want News

'We Want Wade' website crashes from excessive traffic
I love crawling the top stories feed of The Miami Herald and finding gems like this.


Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE/Getty Images
Forget the bomb threat on the plane in Canada. Forget the impending civil war in Thailand. What's important is that a website about a local basketball player crashed.
Thanks for letting me know!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Save the plastic bag

Reusable bags taking over shopping landscape



This is the best lead line that the Miami Herald could come up with for this article:

The single-use plastic bag could be an endangered shopping species.

The Herald’s the only thing on the menu

Scissors were used to kill FIU athlete, witness says




Here’s the wonderful Marcus Rolle on this story:

Regina told Kendall that `Q' had mushed a cookie in her face and was like `eat the cookie, bitch, because she wouldn't give him a ride,''